Team Rocket Versus The Internet
by SapphireOcean
Summary: James has finally had enough of a certain product of the Web. Mild yaoi\yuri bashing.


Originally posted on Gaia, in a fanfiction contest for The Original Pokemon Shipping Alliance guild.

I dislike the title, but I failed to come up with anything better.

* * *

_**Bang! **_

The door slammed into the wall courtesy of James, red-faced and ranting.

"Just because I cross-dress, it doesn't mean I'm _gay!_"

Jessie looked up from the book she was reading, giving him a perplexed stare.

"James, what on earth are you going on about?"

"It's ridiculous, the things they come up with! Do they have _any_ idea what they're _doing?_"

"Hey, what's all da noise, Jimbo?" Meowth walked cautiously into the room and immediately leapt onto a chair, narrowly saving his tail from James's pacing feet.

Jessie put down her book, getting up from the bed with a sigh. "_James._" She grabbed his arm, stopping his agitated movement.

"Owowow what?"

"What's the matter?" Having gotten his attention, she released his arm. He pouted, rubbing it with his other hand.

"Jessie, the things they write," he whined. "They're _insane."_

Realization finally dawned, causing her to smack her forehead. "You've been reading fanfiction again," she said. "For heaven's sake, James! How many times have I told you not to do that?"

"But I can't help it. It sucks me in…"

"It wouldn't suck you in if you just stayed away from the damn site."

At that, his eyes slid none too subtly toward Meowth, who had been lounging in the chair watching the exchange. Jessie followed James's gaze.

"Meowth…" Her tone was unmistakable. The cat shifted uncomfortably.

"Okay. Okay, I did it," he said finally. "I was reading some stuff and I just… left it up."

"He told me to come look," James said. Meowth glared at him.

"One, you should know better," Jessie said to Meowth. "And two--" she turned to James, who tried to look remorseful, "_you_ should know better."

"It's good stuff, some of it," Meowth piped. "You guys could get a few new ideas from them dirty minds."

"Meowth," James yelped, turning beet red. Jessie flushed slightly, resisting the urge to hit him with her fan.

"They had me with the twerp," he said. "I'm not--" He shuddered. "I'm not a p-pedophile, for god's sake."

"They have everybody with everybody else," said Jessie, rolling her eyes. "That's exactly why I avoid fanfiction now."

Meowth nodded. "Rule 34 sucks," he said. The other two looked at him. "Ah, just look it up," he said, hopping down from the chair and walking out of the room.

"And I'm not gay," James shouted.

"Can you blame them, though?" Jessie said. "We've certainly given them plenty of material. What else would they think, really?"

"At least we've still got a following," he said, half-heartedly.

"I remember the first time I read one with me and Cassidy." She laughed. "I wasn't sure whether to laugh, cry, or throw up."

"Butch/James." He turned chalk-white. "Oh, god, you had to remind me of that…"

"Sorry… Guh--"

He had her in a tight hug, clinging to her like a scared little kid. "And the rape fic," he whimpered.

"All right, that's enough of that," she said, patting his head. "They're just fiction, they aren't real, et cetera."

"But--" His grip on her loosened, another thought entering his mind. "What does that make Rocketshipping?"

"Alternate interpretations," she said, grinning. "They can't get all the details right, after all."

James nodded slowly, the color returning to his cheeks. "Yeah."

"Now," she said, holding him at arm's length, "I suppose you can read it sometimes. Just as long as you remember they're _stories. _And try to stay away from M-rated fic, please…"A sly sparkle lit her eyes. "…Unless you let me see it."

He grinned. "Okay. You know if Meowth sees you he won't let you hear the end of it."

"Oh, he's as guilty as we are. He'll keep his mouth shut."

"Can we go read some now?" he asked, hopping up and down eagerly.

"Yeah. Let's find some really bad ones," she said, smirking. They left the bedroom and went into the living room, only to find Meowth standing on the computer desk.

"Hey," he chirped. "You two gotta see this."

"Gender-bending?" Jessie said incredulously, bending to look at the screen. "Move over, fur ball."

"Yeah, yeah! Come on, pull up a chair."

"Oh, this'll be good," James said, dragging over a pair of chairs.

"The things people come up with," said Jessie, shaking her head in wonderment.

"It's not half-bad, actually," James said, already reading.

"It's hilarious," Meowth said.

They went from one story to another, reading them out loud, adding commentary, making fun of appalling spelling and grammar.

"We're a regular Mystery Science Theater troupe, ain't we?"

"We should watch some of those."

"Hey, they have MST fic too. I love those. Unless they're not funny."

"Maybe we should write some!"

"…I don't think so, James."

"You guys, I just thought of somethin'."

"What?"

"I wonder if the twerps read this stuff."

Jessie started giggling, and James soon followed. "Maybe we should send them some just for fun…"

*****

"Hey, Misty?

"Yeah?"

"What's yaoi mean?"

* * *

After reading a recent review, I feel the need to clarify a few things (the review was anonymous, so I can't reply directly). I have nothing against yaoi or yuri. In fact, I LOVE yaoi and yuri, and I'm perfectly aware of the difference between them and Boy Love\Girl Love. AndIreadwaytoomuchpr0nz((cough)) (And yes, I have read the Pokemon shipping list.) This fic is not a representation of my views at all. I can see why that might be hard to believe... but I never write a fic intending to "preach" through the characters. I am a huge Rocketshipping fan, so it's hard not to color my fic with it, but I do enjoy other James and Jessie ships as well. I apologize if I offended anyone; I really don't mean to.

Anyway, sorry to blather on. I just wanted to get that out there.


End file.
